interview update III

Well, as you have probably gathered, I would have been screaming from the mountaintops if I had gotten the jobs, so obviously I did not. There are alot of words I could use to describe how I'm feeling but I'll leave it at 'disappointed' for now. Friday, I received an email from the manager I had interviewed with 3 times, for the position I wanted the most. She informed me that the position was offered to someone else (I was the second choice, basically). After I emailed her back asking for any constructive criticism, helpful advice, or honest opinions as to what I did wrong, what I could have done better, why I didn't get the job, THIS was the response:

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"If I did have two positions, I would have definitely had you on board immediately. Your work experience, organizational skills in dealing with a huge territory, letter from your manager, and past success in your territory did make the decision a difficult one for me! Your appearance and communication skills were also very professional. I also asked the front desk staff [at the hotel where the interviews took place] which person they liked best and least. Tacy, front desk clerk, did say she liked you because your were friendly and interacted with the employees very naturally while waiting for me. Those are all the strengths you brought to the interview. It truly was a pleasure to meet with you. Again, I wish you the best and hope we can work together in the future!"

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While I very much appreciate her kind words, this definitely doesn't help me understand why the position went to someone else, nor does it give me ANY direction as to what I can do in the future to nab the next job that comes my way! To make matters worse, the job that I flew to Atlanta to interview for (waking up at 3:45 AM for), I got a call from the recruiter this morning letting me know that they decided to go with the other candidate. The recruiter was shocked just like I was and let me know that she recommended me, didn't have a clue what the company was looking for because they hired someone with less experience than me, and she thought that I should have gotten the job. Once again, I'm left with no reasons (although I have emailed the hiring manager to ask him the same question I asked above... maybe he will give me an answer).

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I'm really at a loss right now. To be honest, it does make it a harder to deal with the rejection knowing that I let so many people know that I had these interviews going on (through the blog, facebook, etc) and now you all know I was rejected once again. My reasoning for sharing this private information is honestly because I am naturally a 'sharing' person. I like to share in other people's joy, pray for others, and share my life's ups and downs with others as well (well duh, that's why I have a blog without having a child or anything). I DO believe in the power of prayer and although I'm not fighting a serious illness or great tragedy, waking up Thursday and Friday mornings before my interviews and knowing that there were people thinking of me and praying for my interview really helped me feel at peace through the whole process. I know that all of this is happening for a reason and I have faith that eventually something great is coming my way... it's just honestly extremely difficult to travel the journey of ups and downs along the way.

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I have mentioned this before but I am struggling with the idea of when to look in another career direction. I honestly don't have a CLUE what else I would want to do that wouldn't require a while lot more schooling. My whole life I have known I want to be in the medical field. In high school, I decided that I wanted to be a drug rep. I devoted my college to achieving my goal. I DID IT! I got my dream job and life was working out as planned. When my company went bankrupt and I lost my job, it wasn't just any ole time that you could just look for another one... the entire pharmaceutical industry is changing and there is absolutely no job security anymore... but there is also a nationwide financial crisis, unemployment rates rising (I'm one of those statistics now!), no one is hiring, layoffs are constant, and the nation is unstable. It's a difficult time to be in the position I am, but I know that there are alot more people out there sharing in my pain. I just don't know where to go from here. This is 3 times now since I was laid off, that out of THOUSANDS of resumes submitted for a single pharmaceutical sales opening, I have now THREE TIMES gotten to the FINAL 2 candidates and come up short each time. It's hard to deal with this rejection, failure, and for once in my life, things not going as I had planned, dreamed, or hoped. But I'm not going to give up!

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I'm still an eternal optimist... I'm not jaded by my industry... I still absolutely LOVED my job, and would do it again in a second... I still have faith that the right job is out there for me... I know that my family and friends support and believe in me... I am realizing that it's not necessarily a reflection of myself, but simply of things outside my control... I have a wonderful, encouraging, and loving husband who is working hard to support for our little family and keeping me positive.

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a sweet special someone sent this to me in an email yesterday and it really encourages me through these rough times:

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'
Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear."

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I appreciate the prayers and cares! I am back to square one and will see what God chooses to bring to me in the near future!